How Garage when up in Flames and My husband needs my support! How can I be there for him?

Memorial Day our garage went up in flames. We were just about to walk out the door and go visit my parents when suddenly my husband noticed our De attached garage in the back on fire. We then called 911 and the fire department was here in a matter of Seconds!





It took the firefighters a few minutes to get the fire under control and because the Fire station was walking distance from our house, things were under control really fast.





However 2 days ago my husband and I had a cook out during the Red Wings game. We have charcoal and 24 hours after the coals sit, my husband dumped them behind the garage in a Compost pile we have..





The Chief Firefighter said that the Charcoal probably was still hot and that could of caused the fire...But then today the Building inspector came over and can't figure out what caused the fire in our garage..





Now my husband is Crushed because he feels responsible. He feels horrible because if it wasn't memorial day, I would of been home alone and on Pregnancy bed rest, there is not much I could of done.





With a baby coming in less then 5 months, this was just another thing to get in our way...I am trying to be supportive. I know it was an accident but my husband is being SO hard on himself. Advice?How Garage when up in Flames and My husband needs my support! How can I be there for him?
I always find that hard times bring good memories. Now doesn't that sound odd? It's true! If you allow it. When bad things happen, go with the flow..and when you're in a marriage you need to realize that you guys are bestfriends, lovers, soul-mates, and much more. Since you are those things, you should always support each other.





Our best memories are of hard times...like when we got into the car accident on the way to our house for the first time...or when he got laid off from work. Those things united us and made us even stronger. Those memories hurt, and I remember crying on each other..and even getting into an argument..but those things made me realize we can handle anything that comes our way.





At least everyone was okay. Don't stress since you are pregnant and give him lots of love to make him feel better!





I wish you the best of luck and stay safe.





P.S. A few years from now you will be like, ';You remember that Memorial Day when we were suppose to go visit my parents and then the garage....'; and by then you'll have your little kid and he or she will say, ';What happened mommy?! tell me!!';





---





Everything happens for a reason. Maybe this was meant to happen now before the baby arrives.How Garage when up in Flames and My husband needs my support! How can I be there for him?
It just happened. It takes time to get over. Your husband is an adult and if you stop treating him like he's 13 years old and can't handle life then he'll probably act that way. Come on, give the guy some credit. He doesn't need you to fix everything he can handle this.
What exactly is your question here? It does seem likely that the coals were still hot, as that's the most logical explanation for the fire, but you will never know, and he will never do this again, I'm sure.





He's a grown man and you aren't his mother - stop tripping over yourself trying to make him feel better. Once you've made it clear you aren't going to make him feel guilty about this, let it go. You have bigger things to think about.
No harm, no foul. What could have happened didn't. So you lost the detached garage, ok it wasn't the house and everyone is ok. A lesson learned about what to do with your spent coal. The burnt garage isn't going to get in the way of your baby, it's something that happened, be done with it.
How is the garage burning ';another thing to get in our way?'; Doesn't seem like an issue. It is gone now so if anything it is out of your way. ;-)





Everyone feels bad about some event or another. People beat themselves up about car wrecks and accidental deaths. Seems to me you have bigger things to worry about.





Its just a garage.
His concern is a good sign. It shows his love and protectiveness for you and the baby. If he didn't care, that's when you should worry. Just tell him that it happened and you can't change that, you just have to learn. That's what life's about. And thank him for being so concerned about you and the welfare of your up and coming new edition. CONGRATS on the babe!
2yrs ago, our garage was on fire. We had a 2 car garage, but at the time only had one car.. my 2000 Mazda 626. My husband was staining wood. Later at 1am, we get the fire department pounding at our back door, because our garage was on fire. It wasn't a big fire and the fire department put it out before it spread. However my car got smoke and heat damage. The insurance company totalled it. I was upset and pissed. I drove that car (test drive) the day before the insurance company took it. It was fine.





My husband was upset and to this day is still very upset for what happen. The stained rag combust into flames causing the fire. Since he was staining, he blames it on himself. It was an accident. Neither one of us knew stained rag can combust.





He's still upset and so am I about the car because at the time the Mazda was the newest, nicest, coolest car I have ever owned. I have always had older vehicles. My grandfather sold me the Mazda when his wife died (it was her car). In reality I would never be able to afford a brand new Mazda. My husband and I took that car on our honeymoon traveling across the US. So not only was it a nice car, but alot of memories in a short about of time.





When the fire happened (and any time it comes up).He has told me more then once he feels responsible. I just tell him it's not his fault. It was an accident, but it's hard to be the brave one because I really do miss that car and he knows it.
best thing for you to do is to put out
He is being hard on himself for a damn good reason!!!





No mercy





You don't need to add fuel to the fire, but just sit back and watch him burn. Just don't let him get to the point where you think he's gonna do something stupid because of his regret.





With a baby on the way, he needs to realize that he has to pay attention and be every bit of man that he can be. Small mistakes are much better than huge one's like this. Safety is first, now!





You've heard the saying ';Think fast, speak slow'; right? Well I like to change it too ';Think fast, act slowly';, for advice on situations like this. He needs to think out almost every possibility for anything that could be potentially dangerous to his family. He should think of this whole incident as a reminder that life can come around and kick you square in the nuts, harder than you might have ever thought it could.





At least this whole ordeal didn't happen like you thought it might have...





Don't sugar coat it. There is a huge lesson to be learned here. Just make sure it doesn't turn into torture, that's all...





Even if it turns out that it wasn't of his ';doings';, you both have been given a reminder of how quickly things can turn disastrous. The real lesson would be learning how to be prepared to get you, and the family, out of the house without incident.





Hope everything works out for you!